Wednesday, December 8, 2010

How do we chose to forgive?

Today was a day marked with many good things.  Today was also a day of sadness for me.  When you find out that a wrong that has hurt you so deeply, cannot be made right in the way it should be what do you do?  When you are faced with such helplessness combined with more pain than anyone should have to do you forgive when the deliverer of this heartache is not even acknowledging it is there?  Forgiveness to me in it's most simple explanation is: You wrong me, you admit, I forgive. or I wrong you, I admit, you forgive.  I can forgive the man on the highway for cutting me off.   I can forgive the rude waitress who wants a $15 tip for no service.  I can forgive my best friend for lying to me.  I can forgive my children for disobeying me.  All of these different situations I can forgive even if they do not ask.  But I feel in life there are some things where God really puts to test the value of forgiveness and the true act of forgiving as He forgives us.  It is not in me to forgive today.   I don't think it will ever be in me to forgive what I have gone through.  I do know that it is in Him.  Lord, help me today to forgive.  Help me be like You, because as much as it hurts, I do not want to be my unforgiving self right now.  I want to truly forgive.  A lot of times we say we forgive these deep painful things in our lives but secretly we hold on to part of that hurt.  It exposes itself eventually.  When you encounter that person, or when you spend some time with them, or when an argument arises...I want to offer complete forgiveness.  I so want to be what my human self does not.  So tonight I have just my brokenness.  Lord, take my pain and use it.  Show me Your way so that You may be glorified and others may see Your light through my darkest hour.

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