Wednesday, December 8, 2010

How do we chose to forgive?

Today was a day marked with many good things.  Today was also a day of sadness for me.  When you find out that a wrong that has hurt you so deeply, cannot be made right in the way it should be what do you do?  When you are faced with such helplessness combined with more pain than anyone should have to do you forgive when the deliverer of this heartache is not even acknowledging it is there?  Forgiveness to me in it's most simple explanation is: You wrong me, you admit, I forgive. or I wrong you, I admit, you forgive.  I can forgive the man on the highway for cutting me off.   I can forgive the rude waitress who wants a $15 tip for no service.  I can forgive my best friend for lying to me.  I can forgive my children for disobeying me.  All of these different situations I can forgive even if they do not ask.  But I feel in life there are some things where God really puts to test the value of forgiveness and the true act of forgiving as He forgives us.  It is not in me to forgive today.   I don't think it will ever be in me to forgive what I have gone through.  I do know that it is in Him.  Lord, help me today to forgive.  Help me be like You, because as much as it hurts, I do not want to be my unforgiving self right now.  I want to truly forgive.  A lot of times we say we forgive these deep painful things in our lives but secretly we hold on to part of that hurt.  It exposes itself eventually.  When you encounter that person, or when you spend some time with them, or when an argument arises...I want to offer complete forgiveness.  I so want to be what my human self does not.  So tonight I have just my brokenness.  Lord, take my pain and use it.  Show me Your way so that You may be glorified and others may see Your light through my darkest hour.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder...

Well the last week and a half has been full of projects.  I got the idea that I would start painting some things I needed to get out of the way.  I don't know if the fumes have gotten to me or what because I can't seem to stop!  Paint, paint, paint...My skin on my hands and wrists has become a strange shade of speckled black and white(two of my favorite "colors" or noncolors if you will=)  So I will begin by posting some before and afters and maybe tell you a bit about my looooooooove to make old into new.

The ugliest green known to man and, yes, I picked it.  Was not expecting this hospital, circa 1965 version of green. 
So...I made her pretty and sleek in a little black dress=D You will find that probably ALL of my pieces are a "her".  You spend that much time with something and she's like a good friend(I know, the fumes..)
*She still needs some new hardware but haven't found just the right stuffs yet.

And this little table was screaming to be part of a white Christmas....

And what a difference!  I have one more and a coffee table that will be next on the white wash list=)

This patio furniture, I regret, I do not have a before picture for.  I am not sure why.  Blame it on the fumes again=)  But to give you a mental picture, it was this old powder, sort of slate blue.  Very rusted and just more dated than antique looking.  Sandpaper, Rustoleum, and paint to the rescue!

These two chairs were given to me and the white just stood out too much and just seemed dated. They were, by far the most trying as far as paint jobs went this week and last.  Oh wicker I despise you!  But I love the way they turned out=)(I only photographed one)

And the end result........cozy

And now for my girls' room.  This was actually where the painting marathon began.  I got a wonderful deal on these sweet Jenny Lind beds from my friend Rhonda.  They only needed a little paint to make them sweeter.  I'm not sure if you can tell but the first bed had almost a blue and white tie dyed look and the second was just, well brown.

And let me tell you, after being in their brother's hand-me-down boyish bunk beds...the L-O-V-E these!!!(me too=))))
And last, but certainly not least, the girls' desk.  This desk was a test in itself.  Not only did I have to conquer a Formica top(who knew you would find that on Ethan Allen) but also an angry paint can that wanted to dribble huge droplets of paint all over me and the desk!  Oh thank you husband for solving that mystery for me and saving what was left of the paint Walmart was out of!  So...before

Not so bad but not nearly girly enough for my two sweethearts!

Now this definitely suits them=)

Well I've painted until I don't think I could stand to look at another piece of furniture again.  But then again I do have plans to start again Thursday or Friday=)  Projects on the list right now: a chair that is in the process of reupholstering(scary, I know), another wicker set, a swivel desk chair, and maybe a night stand.  We will see.  So glad I got to share these things and sooooooo glad they are done!

Monday, December 6, 2010


As I sit at my computer tonight reading my usual blogs I am reminded how much I have crammed in to each day.  All of my to-do lists.  All of my goals and aspirations for the day.  Selfish most of them.  What can I get done to feel that accomplishment of worthiness?  How much does it take on my scale?  It doesn't ever seem like enough.  When I think I have tackled so much in a day I can always think of more things I could have done if I had utilized time better.  If I hadn't had to take time to break up arguments.  If things would go exactly how I want them to I could get sooooo much more done.  Would I be satisfied?  Would I give myself that well deserved pat on the back?  I don't really think so.  It comes from the person in me always striving to be good enough.  The person who wants to earn approval from everyone and myself.  I don't know what transpired in my life to build this person but it seems to be who I've always been.  So the question I've been asking myself lately is, "When will I realize that I will never be good enough?" and that God sent His Son for that very reason.  I seem to spill this expectation of measuring up and being good enough onto those around me also.  So all of this time wasted.  All of these efforts for what?  So I can say...I did this, or I accomplished that?  What am I living for?  Who am I living for?  If I am not living for a living God then the rest is meaningless.  If I spend my days trying to "get it right" as far as I believe will make me good then I am striving to earn my salvation.  And most of the time it has more to do with me than with God.  More to do with my own selfish desires and less to do with what He desires for me.  I am not saying that you cannot have goals or aspirations.  These are all good things.  But are they driven by God or by the need to fill something that only He can fulfill.  I don't want to waste this life trying to obtain all I can.  I want to know Him.  I want to seek him.  I want to know that He is far more important than any to-do list I could ever come up with.  Then I believe I would not find the need to keep adding to the list.