Tuesday, March 29, 2011
I know it's been awhile since I have posted anything. Things have been busy, things have been crazy, and well life is twisting and turning as usual. My husband has been traveling far more than usual for his job which leaves me with all of the fix its and projects around the house that he usually tackles. Now a normal person would probably wait for their husband to return to tackle these things himself. Not me. I'm impatient and I guess not used to having to wait for him to do things. He's very efficient and I can't recall a day when I had to "nag" him to do anything. That being said, he can't very well help if he is not here to do these things. So I can either put the project on hold or do whatever it is I need him to do myself. It usually involves more time, a few step stools or ladders and a lot of smashed fingers and unnecessary holes in the wall...But I get it done eventually and most of the time before he makes his way home;) The reason I've been doing so many projects and stuff around here is because that's what I do when things are in upheaval emotionally in my life. I conquer tasks and projects because I'm overwhelmed by other things. A distraction if you will. But this recent trial and test was one I just couldn't shake. Couldn't paint through. It was a doozie. I began praying. I really didn't know what to pray for except for Him to intervene. I had no answers, and still don't but I can say that I found a tangible realness to God that I had never known before. A faith that was securely standing on His power. He was showing me His power. He was and is changing hearts. He is answering prayer that is not even being spoken in words. I wish everyone could experience what I have this past 3 weeks. It came to me a few days into this amazing Holy Spirit filled prayer time I was having...God is real. God is real like you and me(only much better=). He is truly a friend that hears me like no other. It was as if He was standing right next to me in all of His power rebuking Satan and the lies he had been telling me. Fighting this battle I am in for me, with me, through me. I want to glorify Him in what I'm writing so I want to be clear. None of this happened because of me. I didn't discover something that any person out there could not discover. I simply found what was there all along. Him. I simply acknowledged what was true all along. His power and ability to do all things. I knew all of the biblical truths. I believed them. I spoke them to others. I had faith. But to KNOW, without any doubt, to feel His Spirit speaking of His power and ability....such a revelation. I don't ever want to lose this thirst to continue this journey He's revealed to me. I don't ever want to sing another song and not realize the power of the words behind it. I don't ever want to take His love for granted. I want to always feel as I do right now. In awe of His power, His ability to move, and His mercy for me a sinner who has not truly given everything in His name. God is real. He's so real to me.