Wednesday, October 27, 2010

A diary of my life....

So this is it.  I've finally done it and embarked into the blogosphere.  I've been wanting to do this for some time because I am such a blog junkie.  I am inspired by the blogs of other mothers who, I see, are removing all of the smoke and mirrors we feel as mothers we need to put up to distract the world from the rawness of what our lives actually are to somehow impress someone.  But these fronts and this fakeness only leaves us feeling one thing.  Alone.  We are not achieving this title of "great mother" or "mrs. has it all together".  We are only isolating ourselves.  Because in all reality we are like all of the other mothers out there hiding our realness.  And this realness is what I have found out there in the wonderful world of blogs.  Where a mom can admit her weaknesses and find encouragement and advice from other moms.  It's where what is not said aloud even in the confidence of the most  honest friendships can be said to the world.  I'm writing for my family and for myself.  So maybe somehow I can take what the Bible tells me to do..."confess your sins one to another"...and not feel as if I will be an outcast or not live up to their standards.  Because when it comes down to it.  Their opinion of me does not decide my eternity.  And if I ever want to grow in Christ I have to learn to admit my weaknesses and faults.  Aloud.  Or for me...in this blog for now.  I will never be good enough to work my way to heaven.  Jesus would not have paid such a price if I could be.  I believe my life lesson has been to let go and stop trying.  Trying to measure up.  Trying to hide my inadequacies.  Trying to fix me so He will see me fit to be a "good" Christian.  So this is my journal.  My life in all it's messiness.  I hope this can be a vessel of truth.

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